Changing How I Think About Eating

In my quest to live wholeheartedly, I sometimes deal with recurring various issues. Getting older certainly has me re-looking at many aspects of life. For instance, my eating habits have always been … peculiar ...

Funny how every time I am determined to change something, it seems to go the opposite way. For instance, I want to cut back on ibuprofen and end up taking more to ease the almost-daily pain. Every time I want to do something different about eating, something usually comes up throwing the new plans into the wind.

Talk about the universe testing me. Oh, you want to make a change? How bad do you want to change? Bad enough to put up with extra crap to get through it?

Then, too, maybe I'm at an age where I recognize things changing all the time. I can’t coast through life, I have to pay attention ... like realizing more solid food, like meat and potatoes, settles better in me than pastas and saucy dishes.

The hardest thing for me about eating more often (besides having on hand food I want to eat) is interrupting whatever I'm doing to get it. Already-prepared meals still need to be heated up, throwing together a sandwich takes some time ... then doing up the dishes. It sounds silly but those few minutes totally interrupts my train of thought on whatever I’m working on.

My mind will be on a highly creative flow and by the time I sit back down again, that moment of inspired consciousness is gone. When I’m in one of those wild stream-of-consciousness, full-blown inspirational times, I have to go with it, even when multiple projects come on top of one another. Those creative bursts are like storm surges with waves coming one after another. To take any pauses when that stream is running strong is like slamming down a dam.

If I don’t pay attention, I mentally crash. The creative desire drains out of me and sometimes weeks go by before the muse returns. What worked before doesn’t anymore. No longer can I go so long without eating that I don’t feel hungry. Now if I go all night and too far into the morning without eating, my physical body crashes. I feel sick, queasy, and headachy.  

I need to find a way to balance creative fire and eating.  I need to relearn what hunger feels like and eat accordingly – not when I’m so hungry I eat too much and too fast. I need to figure out how to keep the creativity active while having meals. It’s time to change my thinking about food. I have to WANT to eat!

Oh! Oh! That's another side of the issue. I don't want to eat! Wow, I wonder if this is some deep-set thing inside because there are so many issues around food and being told what to eat and what not to eat and listening to snide comments of, "If you eat that, you're gonna get fat." Too late. And statements like that make me want to rebel even more to eat what I want -- or don't eat.

I need to come up with some affirmation cards, so the right words are in my face. I know, it sounds silly to have to be reminded to eat. But I get so busy … I need to find the right words that will work for me and not the current trend statements everyone repeats. Every time I hear diet, healthy foods, or any of the latest food fads ... my soul cringes.