Being vigilant with how I'm thinking

560. Dear Divine Presence, Thank you for reminding me I have to be vigilant with my thoughts. When I’m not, my thoughts revert to things going wrong. Being vigilant means I catch the downward spiraling thinking immediately and say, “Stop!” Then I change my thinking into more positive directions. This takes practice, but it’s becoming easier. I’m catching myself quicker and I am much happier. Love and Success, Sasha.

A New Understanding about My Mum and Christmas

So much runs through my mind. We learn to really stand up on our own two feet when we don't have our mums to call on anymore. Well, we can still call on them, just not the same. There's a knowing that we WILL see them again someday ... just not in this physical realm.

Funny, I didn't think I was going to be emotional this year. Maybe I'm supposed to. Perhaps I will be for the rest of my life. I'm OK about it, really. It makes me stop to appreciate mothers and what mothers have meant for most of us.

Mothers’ Day is supposed to be about mothers, but it feels different. Maybe because this time of year we are closer to God. (Funny I can now say the word "God" without getting that Christian-belief cringe. I know how I see/feel God, and I can now say it even though it's the same word.)

Christmas, no matter how you see God, is not just about all the hype and Jesus' birth. For me, there's a much deeper, personal meaning; something I will never get over, and yet continue to learn from. My mother loved Christmas! Maybe that's why Christmas means (and hurts) so much, and why I continue to spend it alone.

Suddenly, I realize Christmas was more about my mother than anything. My mother WAS Christmas for me, for us, growing up ... Wow, I don't know that I ever realized it that way before.

My mother was so into Christmas! She'd start buying presents in July. I remember the joy on her face ... oh, so and so would just love that! Giving gifts was a true enjoyment and love for her. The smiles on her face on Christmas Day ... 

Oh, yeah, I'm sitting here sobbing, but it's OK. I love gaining these insights and understandings. I love my mother, will always love her. I don't have to hide it and I don't have to be ashamed that I cry over it.

Christmas the last few years of her life were just her and I. No one visited. We’d stopped buying presents. Christmas was the two of us … and then, she passed away on a Christmas Day.

I am learning to love Christmas in a different way. Somehow, the memories bring me closer to mum. Every time I put up a light, I think how she'd love seeing that. I know she is here with me.

Love you, Mum, forever and ever.

559. Dear Divine Presence,

Thank you for again showing me that changing how I think can make a big difference in how I see things. For instance, someone mentioned how making to-do lists and being able to check off accomplishments work for her. My immediate thought was: To-do lists don’t work for me because the list grows longer faster than I can check things off.

But wait! What if I change how I think? What if, instead of writing down everything I want to get done … forever, I just write down things I want to accomplish today? I listed seven things I wanted to get done just in yesterday, and I was able to cross them all off!

What does this mean? For today, only list things that are possible to get done today. Hey, if I do extra, that’s a bonus! Love and Success, Sasha.

Treating People with Respect

It’s a wonder we’re not all building forts around our homes with all the news media coverage of political campaigns, horrors happening in the country and the world, and then people repeating all this negativity through social media. People are mentally breaking and committing acts of violence in their frustrations and fears. It’s hard not to feel inundated with hopelessness for the human race.

I’m striving to be a recluse. Not because I’m personally afraid, but because I’m so sick of it all. (Plus, I want to stay home to do my writing and art work.) People are upset by the affairs of the country and world, but history proves we are dealing with the same issues that have been going on since mankind began. Issues such as the haves and have nots, those thinking they are better than the next guy, wanting control over others, or just plain wanting what someone else has and feeling it’s their right to just take it. Then there are those who believe their way is the right way for everyone, whether it is or not.

News lately is full of hate, accusations, unfulfilled promises, misleading comments, snippets of statements used to promote dissention, marketing products that are not honest, and more. There are those who come up with convincing words to manipulate the public. OK, every so often there will be a human compassion story, but those are getting far and few between. The media’s excuse is that the bad news is what sells and they’re in the business to sell news. (And with either news or advertising; it doesn’t matter if it’s totally true or not.)

People rant about their ancestors being slaves on southern plantations, but there has been slavery for generations all over the world – and still goes on in some places. People are angry over discrimination, but discrimination isn’t only against one race or religion. Legal immigrants to this country are still being discriminated against in some places and many of them have been here for almost their entire lives. And, it doesn’t matter what country they came from! It’s not just one set of people!

Women have struggled throughout history to break free of certain roles, and as far as they’ve come in this country, there are still issues they are dealing with. Again, look at history. Times have changed, technology has changed, new programs were introduced and, for the most part, women have more freedoms, but in some cases, they are still treated differently than men. Then there are some countries where women don’t have many rights at all and men totally rule everything.

Some rant against “white privilege.” Well, not all white people fall into that category. Many have had hard lives. There are poor whites, discriminated against whites, white people who are jobless, homeless or living in hovels, veterans who can’t get proper help, and more instances.

The real issue is not about color, religion, where we’re from, ancestry, hair styles, mode of dress, or language we speak. It’s about how people are treated! Maybe it’s about hierarchy. Those in power (governments) always believe themselves above everyone else; from better benefits and education, to bigger salaries …

So, what do we need to do to live wholeheartedly? Maybe it’s just about learning to live together, accepting and respecting one another. Bring back some simple guidelines for living well like working hard, kindness, courtesy, sharing, helping neighbors, etc. Maybe it needs for leaders to show more respect for people, to find programs to help and if a program doesn’t work (no matter how good it sounds) take it down and try something different.

No, it’s not a perfect world, and because of human nature, there are those who will always be on that “other” side of goodness. As a writer, I’m more aware of words. These days I’m particular on who and what I listen to. I watch people’s actions before I believe what they say. I look for a deep-hearted goodness in others … and work at promoting that more in myself.

I may not leave my house often these days, but when I do, I always try to say a few kind words to people I meet, give a compliment, say something light-hearted about the weather. I also take time to thank delivery people, store clerks, waiters, etc. If they have a story, I’ll listen. These little things don’t take much effort, but they can help others feel better and it gives me a feeling of accomplishment, that I’ve lived a whole-hearted day.

Let Us Be Americans First

Yesterday’s stream-of-consciousness writing sent me on the issue of being American. What set this off was continually hearing news reports about African Americans and Jewish Americans, and then there’s Chinese Americans, Native Americans, etc., and you could even add man or woman to that. African American woman, Chinese American man … And I thought:

What if we are all Americans first? People with wants and wishes the same as many others.

People often ask me if I’m Native American. My first shocked thought is, “Why would you ask that?” On one hand, that’s something to be proud of. On the other hand, does that make me different? Does it make me stand out to be ridiculed? Does it put me in a category where I might be seen as … whatever someone else might think?

Think about it. What comes to mind when you think of any of these ethnic terms? Are your first thoughts on what you last heard on the news about others of this ethnicity, something you read about these people in history, or are you looking at him as an individual person?

What would people’s reactions be if others started labeling themselves as White Americans? That would open a whole new can of worms. There are probably many who already think that way. It’s one thing to think it, another to be saying it publicly.

The minute we start differentiating between people due to color, religion, or whatever, division occurs. The minute we start labeling others, it either makes them like us or different from us. When there’s a division, people take sides. One side is better than the other. That side gets more benefits. The government gives them more freebies. That one has life easier. Those get better jobs. Whatever it is, emotions stir; and sometimes when emotions get involved it can be over something that’s not even true.

I’m not putting down anyone’s ethnicity, heritage, or religious beliefs. We all have the right to hold onto our family histories and beliefs … if we want to. Everyone should have the right to work hard to make a good life for ourselves and our families. Everyone should respect one another’s beliefs.

It’s about time people started putting these differences aside and work together as people wanting to live in this country.

Letting go and Living Wholeheartedly

This week has been another round of changing how I think and changing what I think about. One subject that fit this was in letting go.

Letting go is hard, sounds hard, but these past few days as I've been working on living at a higher level of consciousness, I find if I don’t think of it as letting go, but as releasing to the Light, it feels better, and it’s more freeing.

I started this practice by catching myself any time my thoughts began spiraling out of control. It’s not always easy. Sometimes my mind grabs hold of a subject and the thoughts go ‘round and ‘round until I’m emotionally flattened. I give myself a mental shake, and say, “Stop, relax, breathe, let those thoughts go to the Light,” the minute I realize what I’m doing.

I’m doing it and I feel so much better! Thoughts and beliefs I no longer need, release them to the Light. Bad feelings, depressing thoughts, ugliness on the news, release those thoughts to the Light.

But what about letting go of physical stuff? I thought about all my stuff that physically got thrown away after the big yard sale in May and how I cried to see good stuff, MY stuff, in the town dumpsters. Do you know how much cross-country skis cost? Two vehicles full (mine and a friend's) of things I’ve had for years, just thrown away. I knew I had to let go, but it hurt so bad. I was crushed. I sobbed all the way home. But I had to do it.

Yet now that I am taking this new thought patterning of releasing to the Light, I look back on the past months and feel the release.

By the way, I see the light as a bright universal light, a Pure Divine Light (PDL), a God-Light, if you will. (And I see the word(s) capitalized.) In my vision, the little self me is standing on a hill, and a beautiful, all-encompassing Light surrounds me, fills me. I raise my arms and whatever it is I need to release, is gently taken from me.

This is all one more step in living whole heartedly. I’m recognizing where I am in life, acknowledge life lessons learned, and move on. I strive to be the best I can, knowing who I am, yet making steps to be better. Today I am enough, tomorrow I’ll be enough for tomorrow.

Hmmm, if I think of things as energy, and energy is constantly moving ... or moving every so often, it stands to reason that we need to eventually let things move on. Heck, even WE need to move on sometimes. We can't even hold onto ourselves.

Oh, dear, where did that come from and where am I going with this? But it is life. We spend our lives developing the "me" we want to be, only to find as we get older, we have to change ... and we develop a stronger "me," then eventually we have to even let that go.

Energy is born into a human form. Throughout the life of that form, it constantly changes and grows – and eventually passes back into pure energy.

Choosing the Untraditional

This morning as I was making coffee, I contemplated my blue coffee mug. Blue, like cobalt glass, and almost see-through. I’ve had this mug for many years. I thought about how blue was my favorite color for most of my life, and how part of the reason I chose blue was because blue was not considered a girl’s color.

My striving to be different started at an early age. Maybe it was because I saw my brother treated better than me. Maybe it was because I was still in an era where girls and boys had specific roles, and I saw that boys had more opportunities (got more stuff, were allowed to do more things … seemed free). Maybe I just realized from an early age I didn’t want to fit into a mold of what others dictated I was supposed to be.

I didn’t like girly stuff. I seldom played with dolls (although I liked paper dolls and making clothes for them – because that was artsy – not that I understood being an artist at the time.) I didn’t like being in the house or helping with house stuff that wives and mothers took care of. I didn’t like wearing dresses or having to act like a girl when the boys got to be wild and be outside.

My mother wasn’t a girly-girl, either, and although she didn’t totally act like those perfect “Leave It to Beaver” housewife models, she was still part of that timeframe of life for women. She didn’t do the normal woman-thing too much either. She was always on the fringe.

She taught us hide ‘n’ seek, kick the can, and took us out in the woods on walks. So, perhaps it was from her I that made me determined to not be like other girls. She didn’t have many friends. She didn’t play the “follow the leader” games or become part of a clique.

Instead of dolls, I wanted to be outside playing with my brother’s trucks. I wanted to climb trees, explore the woods and fields, and ride my bike faster than the boys. I decided to have blue as my favorite color because it was a boy color. Girls were supposed to like red.

I never did totally conform to the traditional role of woman. Yes, I married and had children. Yes, I totally love my children with all my heart, but even the role of mother and grandmother has me apart from most. Maybe my roles can never be the same as the majority. Maybe … I don’t know …

And in trying to live whole-heartedly, I have to accept who I am without feeling guilty for not following the more traditional role of womanhood. I have to celebrate my uniqueness and understand, too, I am not the only one. We can’t all be the same. It’s the differences in people that make life interesting. The important thing is seeing that we are all good no matter what roles we choose to play (or be).

These days I’m more known for my love of purple. Part of that, too, is a desire to be different. If I could find a coffee mug, just like my blue one, but in purple, that would be the cherry on top of my morning.