On Being Old 9: Sharing stories and responses

I enjoy writing these columns and sharing some of what many of us go through as we get older. Some of it is just about life story, being honest about these struggles, daring to speak up about it and not feel ashamed.

Growing old shouldn’t shame us. Yeah, I know, sometimes I can’t help it. I’m embarrassed when I can’t do something I used to. I hate asking for help for something I feel I should be able to do. I feel bad when I’m gimping like and old person through the grocery store – especially when I see someone who looks older than I zipping up and down the aisles. It’s humiliating if I’m standing in one spot (like at the checkout) and struggling not to grimace in pain. I don’t want people to see me like that… but it’s part of life. We should not be ashamed. We do the best we can.

It is an honor to have others appreciate my writings. I am grateful for the nice comments I’ve received along with suggested topics.

One reader wrote, “Gratitude gets me through the tough spots.” She sent the following random quotes and thoughts on aging:

“Dear old world, you are very lovely and I’m glad to be alive in you.” – L.M. Montgomery

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Control of one’s life is only an illusion. Only with accepting the present can we experience relief from negative thought.” – Eckhart Tolle

“There is no death only a change of worlds. The spirit stays alive and wanders about the beautiful places of earth which they loved in their life. The spirits often visit their loved ones to console, comfort or guide them. We are but one thread withing the web of life. Whatever he/she does to the web, he/she does to himself/herself.” – Chief Seattle

“Let us cherish and love old age; for it is full of pleasure, if one knows how to use it.” – Seneca

Sometimes, someone else’s words, while not exactly telling us what to do, offers some insight. Sometimes, their words remind us to slow down and remember it’s all part of life’s process. We can whine about it or just get on with life the best we can. (Sometimes, too, though, the whining can help a little by getting those feelings out.)

While things for me might not be exactly as you experience, there may be enough similarities to remind us we are not alone. And, too, age may not even be a real factor. After all, when does one start feeling old? There are enough differences that some start feeling old at 50 while others are still dancing in their 90s.

What’s important to me is that by being able to openly talk, I can sometimes figure things out for myself. Or some small return comment may give me an “Aha!” moment. Sometimes a comment about a struggle may find someone offering to help or giving a suggestion which helps me take that next step. And, perhaps, a comment I make may give someone else comfort.