On Being Old 8 How the Elderly are Viewed

Do younger people just see old people as complainers? Are the elderly seen as curmudgeons? (Think “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” and the Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi characters.) Does it seem like those oldsters are always finding fault with “young people nowadays?”

I know when I was young I didn’t want to hear some old geezer trying to tell me how I should act. The times were different. There were places to explore, life to live and experience. Who wanted to listen to some old guys talk about “When I was young …?” (But I also have to admit, I didn’t have much contact with anyone over 60 until I was in my 50s.)

Then, when my aunt went into a nursing home and we visited, I was appalled at seeing all these oldsters hunched over in their chairs with hardly any life in them. Or, their wheelchairs in circle with some young thing crowing, “Let’s play ball,” as she’d toss a beach ball to one. (That’s my image of nursing homes … not very appealing for end-of-life days.)

When I first moved to Bradford and saw what was happening at the Mountain View Senior Center, I was excited. What an awesome place for people to get together. There were many programs and groups, and the participants were wonderful, friendly and vibrant.  I told myself when I got older, I’d definitely join.

I tried to get my mother involved, but she wouldn’t go. Now, years later, I understand more. Mum reached the point where she loved people to visit, but she just didn’t have the gumption to go anywhere. Not everyone is highly sociable towards group settings.

I’m that way now. I find myself wanting to stay home more and more. I no longer want to be around groups of people. I’ve turned into one of these curmudgeonly old people. I can easily rant about these “young people nowadays.”

I sometimes wonder what happened to older cultures who respected their elders. When did old people start being locked away in nursing homes? When their children could no longer care for them? (I never want to be a burden on my kids.)

And, what happens at that point, when years of experience and wisdom are not honored or wanted? When no one is willing to listen, what happens to life purpose? When people stop visiting or calling, do the older folks become invisible? Do they feel unappreciated and unloved? Are they only relegated to senior events and centers with some young person providing entertainment to keep them occupied?

I no longer have the energy to do things, go places. And that’s hard being an artist who loves to share her work and participate in exhibits. Besides the lack of energy, there are the aching joints at walking around, dealing with stairs, getting in and out of the car, etc. Standing in one spot while chatting with someone is the worst … or waiting in line at the grocery store check-out.

Then, too, my curmudgeonly ways have me standing my ground on what I believe, ha-ha.