‘I could never do that’

A line that I’ve thought and have had said to me many times when others have looked at my paintings. But to me, it’s not about doing “that.” It’s about doing it my way, in my style. I want to create beautiful paintings and recreate nature’s beauty. I don’t want to work exactly like other artists. I follow my own path, figure out my way of doing the art.

 Yes, I’ll admit there are types of scenes I know I couldn’t pull off in my style. Yes, I’ll take suggestions (or not – a suggestion isn’t a “have to.”) Creating a painting is always an experience. Each painting has its own challenges and not all are successful.

 Maybe this quirk has been part of me my entire life. I’ve never wanted to do exactly what everyone else is doing. I’m not one to jump on the latest bandwagon or fad. This attitude has often made for a bit of a lonely life as I’ve never had many friends because of my unwillingness to be part of a flock. 

But this is one of the reasons I love painting. I don’t have to do it like everyone else. That’s what it is to be creative and being creative is also a journey into the self. Sometimes it’s about digging deep to get the aspects I want. I’m not always successful at the endeavor, but those “failures” often teach me something.

Part of this, too, is why I paint and write. It’s a journey into the self. It’s not always out walking a physical road but traveling inside. It’s a collaborative between an outside visual and the inner workings of the self to recreate the scene or tell a story. I often find detours and where the painting ends, might not have been what I’d envisioned when I started. 

I always say, “Creating beauty for myself, creates beauty for others.” So, not matter how the painting turns out, there is always something beautiful about it. 

As for, “I could never do that,” there are often scenes I feel I couldn’t do. It’s a choice, a decision on what challenges am I willing to work through. Sometimes, I’m not willing to take on that type of scene, but I also know, that on another given day, I just might choose to take on that scene.  

 Living a creative, wholehearted life allows me the joy of being true to myself.