Saying Sorry Doesn’t Make It Better

 

I learned a harsh lesson years ago. 

I was always one of those people who apologized for everything. Even if it wasn’t my fault, I’d apologize.

The last job I had at the factory I worked at for almost 30 years was running a stockroom. There were aspects I loved about the job: purchasing supplies, unpacking them, and putting them away on shelves, etc. Unfortunately, there were issues in the business where my integrity was constantly being challenged and it drove me to the brink.

I got to a point where I was so unhappy and frustrated on the job, that I took my anger out on almost anyone who showed up at the window requesting supplies … and mostly it was against men. (Sorry, guys.) They didn't deserve it. And then I’d feel bad for acting that way. There were days I was a screaming lunatic.

For some reason, though, I believed as long as I apologized afterwards, it’d be OK. “I’m sorry” would make others forgive me.

One day, I went off on one of the guys I disliked the most (not his fault). The next day when I said, “I’m sorry,” I’ll never forget his reply (and just thinking about it now, even after 40 years, brings tears …)

He said, very softly, “Do you think saying sorry will ever take back the hurtful words you said yesterday?”

Wow, it was a punch to the gut, albeit a soft punch. I felt what he meant. That this big man could be so kindly towards me after how I treated him… and treated him often…

This was also the time where my boss would come up to me and pull me aside to say, “Nobody likes you. Nobody wants to work with you.” He never asked me to change my ways, just told me two or three times a week, among other things, “Nobody likes you. Nobody wants you here.” That certainly didn’t help my attitude. I’d cry on the way to work and cry all the way home, every day.

Even though those end days at that place were horrific for me (took me years to recover), I never forgot the words of the man who was always kind to me even when I was nasty to him. I really am sorry how I treated some people. Taking your frustration out on others is never a good thing. I hope they have forgiven me… and maybe one or two may even read this and...