Yesterday I had an emotional crash and burn. I feel double whammied
lately with the constant hammering of COVID-19 news and politics. Every day I
get up telling myself I’m going to have a good day, but it doesn’t take long
before some bit of news sends me crashing.
It’s hard to avoid. It’s everywhere; the little bit of radio
I listen to when I first get up, to Facebook postings and headlines, to phone
calls, to having donation ads or news updates pop up on TV shows. I can’t even
check my weather app without an update on how many people infected in the state
and how many deaths! What does that have to do with weather?
Yesterday it all got to me, I crashed, and I couldn't shake
it. It was like I was/am being smothered in all the liberal bullshit and hatred
and now the constant info about COVID-19. I’m fighting off depression every day
now. The more hatred and scaremongering put out for all to see, the more it
permeates.
What’s kind of (not) funny is -- if the hatred bandied about
these days was towards anyone of color, ethnic group, or religion, people would
be screaming prejudice and discrimination. So why is it OK to do it to someone
who is white and the PRESIDENT of this country?
What's hard, is I know I'm supposed to be understanding and
allow people to have their own opinions, but the hatred and the constant
Trump-bashing ... I don't think any president has ever gone through this. It's
mean! It's disrespectful ... not only to him, but those who try to work with
him, his supporters, his family and friends, AND the country! Going after the
President of the United States like they have been for the past four years is
dishonoring the USA and what we all stand for!
I find that disgusting, and when I think of the thousands
(maybe millions) of dollars spent on this hatred campaign – monies that could
have gone into programs to help Americans – it saddens me.
I’m not saying Trump is an angel. Looking back through
history, not every president has been great. No leaders ever are, really – they
are human, after all. But, with everything we can learn from history, you’d
think our leaders should be working together to make this country great! Yes,
there will always be disagreements. Compromises need to be made. However,
what’s going on now isn’t making our country great, it’s breaking it.
The country is so divided, I can't see how they're getting
anything good done. It’s no longer what’s good for the people, but one side
against the other side. Personally, I’d rather see my tax dollars going towards
programs that will actually work and help Americans.
And what's worse, this whole thing is making me hate them!
(And “them” encompasses anyone who tries to harm others – and yes, I now
recognize I’m sliding into being intolerant – of those who would do harm.) I
wouldn't even be able to sit and have a chat with any of them because I'd get
so overwhelmingly upset. Makes me want to get a gun ... and I'm not like that.
I am so ashamed how the liberals have been acting ... and the bullshit programs
they're pushing through on the pretense of helping people. All the pretty words
and meaningless promises, that if you really think about it, are impossible to
bring to fruition. Yet people fall for it.
It's making me feel less compassionate towards people. And
that they're actually promoting bringing socialism ... To me, socialism is another
blindfold to the people giving more power to those in control. It sounds
wonderful on paper, but it has never worked in reality.
I'm feeling better about things this morning and I'm working
through this. I don't know if I'm getting less tolerant as I get older or if
I'm seeing things with more open eyes now. It's definitely making me less
tolerant of stupidity and lies and deceit and ... George Orwell's "Animal
Farm" and "1984" come to mind and is coming true.
I don't know if I dare write how I feel ... Dare Greatly,
right? But I'm always afraid of being slammed for speaking up. But, isn't it
time the other side speaks up more? Isn't it time people call them out for
their hatemongering? Will I be isolating myself even more if I speak my truth?
But if I think of living wholeheartedly, I need to be
comfortable speaking my truth. Living wholeheartedly doesn’t mean I need to be
ashamed when I have not-so-good feelings. It means daring greatly to talk about
it, to work through it, to understand not only my beliefs, but see where others
come from, too. It means daring greatly to climb out on that uncomfortable limb
to look at why and admit my struggles.
If we all strived to live wholeheartedly, how might we
change some of the negativity? How might we understand one another and learn to
work better together? That doesn’t mean we have to like everything others do
and say, but when we understand where they are coming from, it might make us a
little more tolerant.
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