Releasing the Unseen Wounds

Here is another bit of writing that came across my view this week:

We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives. By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our own transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds – the strength to overcome them and the lessons that we are meant to receive through them. Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise. – (Caroline Myss, b. 1952)

Hmm, this was interesting and funny as it came to me right after I whined about family and love again. It's important and it's taking me a couple of days for her words to stew inside me. I think I've done pretty good about my woundedness all these years, but sometimes stuff re-surfaces -- unresolved stuff. 

Annette mentioned us being warriors, and yes, warrior is a good term for us. We ARE warriors or we wouldn't have gotten to where we are today!

And there are different kinds of warriors. Just because we didn't go through some of the tragedies experienced by others, what we did and do go through has been traumatic for us. How we deal with it, even when it takes many years, is what matters.

It's not about the wound, but how we handle the scarring and strive to be better. We overcome the hardships. We make the choices to learn; we grow. Keeping quiet and holding secrets inside keep the wounds festering.

I want to work with this aspect of not staying wounded. I'm still not sure where it's going yet. There's a difference between staying wounded and daring to talk about it to show how far we've come and what we've accomplished. Talking about our wounds not only lets it out of us, but how we handle our issues can help others dealing with their own stuff. We have to be careful how we talk about it.

It's important to not come across as complaining, and I hope I don't. But it could easily slide that way. Many people fall into the woe-is-me mentality.

Maybe how we are handling our woundedness is the difference. It's not that we are wounded (we are all wounded in some way), it's the willingness and courage to do the work to heal! Yes, I am wounded, have been wounded, but now I am using my battle scars as badges of strength. Because, I made up my mind I am not going to stay wounded! (Hmmm, where is that statement going to take me?) 

I refuse to let the wounds of past love hinder my growth! Wow, that's a powerful statement for me. Let me put on my warrior shield. 

Oh, I just got a visual. All the warriors had shields, coats of arms. What would mine look like? What would yours? Wouldn't it be cool to design a shield and whenever we started feeling down, we could bring it out, call it up; a personal coat of arms to help remind us who we are and how strong we are?

Mine would have to have a cat on it ... and a hawk ... and a wolf ... and tree ... Wait, can't get elaborate. It has to be simple. Hmmmm ... Unfortunately, this type of design isn't in my artistic expertise. But even thinking to throw up my invisible shield when around others who ... challenge me ...

A good thing is I pretty much know who I am. I see the past ... failures ... not really as a failure at love, but as a strengthening of who I am, what I'm willing to compromise at/for ... again, I'm working on this ... and with love and compromise ... hmmm, not sure I am ever willing to compromise ME again.

Wait! I should say, "I AM NOT willing to compromise ME again!" And if this means I'll have to live alone for the rest of my life (except for a kitty), then I'm OK with that.

Once more I feel I'm on the tip of a revelation, but it's not quite there yet. There's something else. I'm looking for one more piece of gold. It'll come. I feel good.