Redefining Words and Terms to Fit Me

The sky is lighter today and I see hints of pale blue in the small patch seen through the trees from my seat. Soft little snow flurries are floating down. The brook's waters are a dark meandering strip with light bouncing on the ripples flowing between mounds of white covered rocks and banks which look like alien creatures making their way up brook against the current.

Gail mentioned sadness ghosts -- I like that term! It fits. Sadness haunts my memories as I constantly hold back from the guilt of not being a better mother. Maybe this is something telling us we really did OK ... because many of us do feel we weren't better parents.

Maybe it's all part of our universal lessons. What do we do with our not-so-goods? Do we throw our lives away in addictions? Do we get out of bad situations and make a better life for ourselves and help others? How many people succumb to the other side?  

What if we looked at the word "mother" and redefined it for us personally to know we are OK, we did OK. What if our job was to raise the kids just as we did, then it was up to them to set sail for their own lives. Our life then becomes doing what we did and do. 

Redefining certain words and phrases to fit the meaning for me is something I've been doing for a couple years. After all, why must other people's interpretations pertain to me? This is not a one-size-fits-all world. I AM Me and I don't have to be exactly like anyone else. (I think I always knew this inside which is why I always struggled around others.)

I read and hear things and then let it all stew as my being creates meaning for me. 

For instance, learning to understand what brings me joy is not necessarily what others see as joy.

I love the term wholehearted living and I’m designing the concept for me. I came across the term "sufficiency" last week -- which I know what sufficient means, but sufficiency? Somehow it feels important. I don't quite have this one yet.

"Daring greatly" is another term I've adopted and making work for me. So often throughout my life, I've dared greatly, and never realized just how much stepping away from the box meant.

The quest to define my life and beliefs continues. Sometimes it’s just changing the words around, so they better speak to me. I’m growing stronger and happier at living wholeheartedly.