I came across the term “wholehearted living” from reading
Brene Brown’s “The Gift of Imperfection.” Those two words spoke volumes, not in
actual words, but in how the term reverberated through my soul. A fire was lit.
This was it! This is what I’ve been working towards all along, and I grabbed
onto that concept as if it was lifeline.
What first popped up in my mind were words about being a
better person, such as: honesty, integrity, kindness, honor, gentle but strong;
those qualities that define a good, kind person. Words I feel are important for
living a good life. Ideals I want and believe I am. But it’s so much more …
And once I became aware, it began slowly working within me
all the time. I’d catch myself in times of stress asking myself how I can live
more wholeheartedly. I’d catch myself going down the rabbit holes of frustration
and despair, but then those words would ring in my brain and I’d pull myself
out. Live wholeheartedly!
I find I’m laughing at myself over certain situations. I’ve
never done that before! Things that would upset me for days I am now seeing
them in a different light. I’m able to re-look at how I’m reacting, reminding
myself to live wholeheartedly and going over the few key words as to what living
wholeheartedly means for me.
As time goes on, the life lessons and self-work continue to
evolve. Life isn’t reading a chapter, taking a test and being done with it.
Life constantly deals out lessons and challenges. It’s a continuing education.
So, what does it mean to me to live a wholehearted life?
Wholehearted living does not have a how-to formula. It’s not
something with specific steps, not a one-size-fits-all; our lives are not
cookie cutters. It’s not about copying Brown’s work into my lifestyle because
we live totally different lives. It’s about taking her basic concept and
reforming it to my life – mentally and spiritually. Yes, some things ring true,
but other aspects I need to change around and put my words to it.
I’m developing my own definitions to fit me at this stage of
my life. It’s not about setting my beliefs as gospel for anyone else. It’s
taking the concepts resonating in me and turning them into assets for my life.
I am choosing how I want to live my life and I’m “daring
greatly” (another term Brown uses) to talk about it. I’m sharing my experience in
how I’m finding my way in this world. I write about coping with life issues;
not as a sob-woe-is-me story, but to share how I deal with the challenges and
how I’m always striving to be a better person … not to prove something to
others, but to live the most wholehearted life I can.
I think about what living wholeheartedly means, and beyond
those first words I mentioned above are peacefulness, calmness, patience,
resilience, doing the best I can, goodness and determination. There are also
the clichés of going with the flow and finding balance. But I also consider: Taking
the time to ask for Divine help/guidance; being true to self; allowing for
imperfection; looking for joy and beauty every day; loving when I can and
forgiving when I can, setting boundaries.
Creating boundaries is a bit of a toughie, but necessary for
someone empathetic. Setting boundaries for me means cutting myself of from
negativity/anger; not falling into media hype traps and avoiding
people/corporations trying to sell me the next best thing.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean cutting myself off from the
world – although I am consciously doing so in many cases. It doesn’t mean I
don’t have compassion. It’s about choosing what I can comfortably allow into my
life. It’s about changing what I’m thinking about the minute I start falling
into despair by some negative comment or event.
It’s still a work in progress. I’m sure other aspects will
surface, and I’ll make adjustments.
What does/would it mean to you to live wholeheartedly?
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