Part 1 -- Cry the Lone Wolf; An interesting life

 

I believe everyone has an interesting life. We don’t have to be rich or famous to have stories to tell. I started journaling in 1977 when I took a creative writing class at Northern Essex Community College, and, as of this year, I have now written 200 books about my life. The first ones were just a few pages, but later, I began writing almost every day. And yes, there are a lot of boring tales … but there are exciting ones, too.

I turned 70 years old this year and I’ve been contemplating writing my life story, picking out the interesting aspects of my life. Julia Cameron, author of “The Artist’s Way,” calls journaling “morning pages.” She said to write every day but to never go back and reread them … and I hadn’t.

But now, in contemplating telling my story, I decided to look back. Are there differences between what I think I remember and what I experienced in reality? I know how I feel about my past, but are my memories correct? 

For the most part, I feel a good part of my life was spent being miserable and unhappy. Yet, there were some wonderful times. I haven’t been a total loser; I’m not a loser at all, really. My mother once said she didn’t know why I was sad. She said I always seemed like a happy child. 

I don’t remember being happy much – but that’s not true, either. I know I had happy times. My happy place was wandering the woods, playing in the brooks, exploring old trails, just being out in nature… alone for the most part. 

So now, my goal is to search for the gold of my life. What have I learned? What has made me who I am today? In telling my tales will I discover I really am worthy? 

I’ve spent this week looking through the first few books. Holy crap, I was a miserable git by 1977. (Stories of earlier years will have to be pulled from memory or from looking at old photos.)

One surprising element was how much I did, how many classes and seminars I took while working a fulltime job and raising two kids. There were many side jobs with trying to sell various products. I got involved in various groups. I’d forgotten how many awesome things I did do. 

Now the task is to pull this all together. Goodness, I’ve been writing for most of my life. I’ve written thousands of poems (no exaggeration), some short stories, essays, et. al. Art has also been a big part of my life. 

So, how do I start? I began a timeline by year and making notes for each year looking through those first journals. It seems weird to start when I was in my 20s. Maybe I need to dig into childhood memories to create the base of where I came, how I developed, which leads to who I am today … and why.

I need to focus and take one step at a time.