Bright sunlight speckles foliage up the hill across the dark brook; pale yellow on the thick covering of dark green leaves. The foliage currently hides homes on the next road over.
Fallen branches along the brook reach long, bony fingers along the shoreline and onto rocks. Two different fingered branches look to be clasping a big rock as if trying to hold it out of the water. A big piece of log is wedged in the crevice of a massive boulder in the middle of the brook. Every once in a while, a shimmer in the water catches my eye as a bit of sunlight slips through the trees.
I’ve been struggling the past couple of years. I can blame some on the “plandemic” and the constant barrage of bad news, but other life issues have seemed to escalate lately, too. Rising costs, home maintenance, an old body wearing out, etc., seem to compound issues into emotional massive crash and burns.
The Sept. 2 “Sunday Coffee” email from Eric Rhoads on “Worry About Worry” was very meaningful. What? Does he know who I am and what I’ve been emotionally going through? No, it’s not just about me. Many people experience the same things; maybe not exactly the same scenarios, but the similarities show we are not so all alone.
I enjoy Rhoads’ insight and his topics often hit home. I love how he writes – he always starts with wonderful descriptions of the beauty around him. Then he continues into the main body of the current subject. His comments are always on point and helpful. Plus, he often includes personal story to further show how he also experiences some of these issues and how he overcomes them.
Rhoads said, “… experts say depression is often driven by the perfection that others appear to be living.”
That’s what I think, even though I’ve never said it so clearly. And this is one of the reasons I insist on writing about real life, personal life… not telling a fairy tale or only talking about all the wonderful things that happen. I truly believe it’s important to talk about all aspects of life. We shouldn’t have to hide who we are and are experiencing for fear of making someone else uncomfortable.
That said, care does need to be taken with who we admit things to. We can’t admit some topics to just anybody in conversation, but writing speaks to some allowing others to ignore it if it doesn’t apply to them.
Rhoads also said, “If we allow worry and fear to consume us, we make life harder.”
This is something I’m working on as I’ve fallen into that hole. This is also a reason why I can’t listen to mainstream media news. It’s all depressing and leads me to believe there is no help for the country. Lately, it seems the news only has the negative. If I’m not careful, I succumb to only seeing the world as a negative place and there being no hope for mankind.
Then I read about people taking road trips and seeing beautiful places around the country. See, it isn’t all bad news. There are wonderful things out there. It’s sad that I’ve chosen not to go on any more adventures.
It’s almost kind of funny. After daring to go on a solo driving trip in 2013, doing another in 2015, then one to a wedding in Wichita in 2016, I thought I would continue doing a lot of travel and writing travel books. It was so wonderful and fun seeing parts of the country and sites I’d never visited before.
What happened? Why did I stop going places?
It started because of fear. As much as I loved driving, there were moments of intense fear. Traveling alone doesn’t give you anyone to rely on. I’m uncomfortable in heavy traffic and city areas are not comfortable. Sometimes I wasn’t sure what lane I was supposed to be in.
However, the beauty and joy of the sights seen were sometimes breathtaking. Acres of rolling farmlands, incredible heights of mountain ranges with jaw-dropping scenery, crossing rivers over spectacular bridges, and finding spur-of-the-moment places to visit added to the adventure made the journeys unforgettable.
Unfortunately, I gave in to the fear, the stories of violence, road rage, and more. There are the expenses, too, which have risen out of control. Even if I wanted to visit other states, these days, besides being afraid, I don’t feel I can afford to travel anymore. Oh, well. Guess I’ll just concentrate on my art. It works for me.
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