Ready for a New Year

Happy New Year!

Yesterday, in finishing up the 2019 year-end accounting, I came across my lists of past New Year’s resolutions/intentions which I’d begun in 2009. I didn’t write one for 2019 because I didn’t want to do a list of things that might not come to fruition. However, I’ve started one for 2020.

Ten years have passed, and the intention list of 2009 is far off from where I am today, although I am still writing and doing art. I experienced the loss of my aunt, then the following year, the loss of my beloved mother and all the ensuing heartaches.

I learned to live alone, did three solo travels, wrote and published a book, moved to another town, and evolved from charcoal drawing to pastel painting. I redesigned my website and wrote more blogs. I continued to evolve with my writing, creativity, and life, each year letting go of some things to focus more on what mattered to me most.

Last year seemed to be one of those transition/waiting mode years. It was full of interruptions, distractions, and life contemplations. What I call my “Year of Discombobulation.” It was further realizing my limitations balanced with what I’m willing and able to do. I felt my life was in the middle of a change, and not just because I turned 65.

It seemed like much of what I’d thought I’d do or accomplish, I didn’t. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it didn’t mean I didn’t get anything accomplished. I actually did a lot! Just not what I’d thought I’d do.

Many times, I felt up in the air, waiting for something to happen, though I didn’t know what. Something was going on within me and without. I meditated, read a lot, spent a lot of time in the gardens, and contemplated my life. I had no idea where it was going to take me.

The last couple months of 2019 started giving me vision for my life and what I want now. I’m fully accepting of who I am, knowing I’m always evolving and becoming more wholehearted. I’m more comfortable with setting boundaries and knowing when to be flexible … Well, maybe not so much physically, ha-ha.

The creative life is consuming me, and I am happy. I’m adapting new rules for myself, making them my way and in my words, and looking to expand my crafts. I’m determined to complete unfinished projects that mean a lot to me while totally letting go of others. Letting go of older things lets me move on to new. I’m open to possibilities and opportunities.

Some recent revelations have freed me up to be even more creative. For instance, the need to sell my paintings. I was holding back doing more paintings because others haven’t gone to new homes. But wait! If I love what I do, why should I let lack of sales stop me from doing what makes me feel incredible? So yes, I’m going to continue to paint because it makes me so happy to see my finished pieces.

Perfect? No. But life isn’t perfect, and I can be OK with my imperfections. They can be my little quirks. Feeling joy is much better than being perfect anyway!

So, I wish you all a Happy New Year, and may you all find the little joys in life that make you happy!