Journey Between an Artist and a Painting: Part I

 

“Long Road Through the Winter Blues”

 Pastel painting, 11 ½ x 15 ¼ framed.

Tara Holdner posted this photo. The road winding between snowbanks towards the forest and mountain immediately captured my attention. My mind was already imagining what I could do with this scene. I asked and received permission to use it for a painting reference. I always like to give acknowledgement to the person who took the original photo.

I usually prefer to do landscapes in a more horizontal orientation, so I re-edited the photo and printed it as so. My goal is not to replicate the photo, just use it as a reference. I always put my own spin on the scenes.

This is is the initial small 6 x 9 sketch I did at the kitchen table. Then, in the studio, when I re-drew the layout onto a sheet of BFK Rives paper taped to an easel, I revamped the composition a bit. I can only work so long as my arm hurts raising it to paint, which means I work in small stints.

Progress is made over the next week as I first concentrated on the sky, clouds, and mountains. I used many shades of blue and darker details using a black charcoal pencil.

I often struggle with titles. Some ideas that came to me included: “Winter Becomes Her,” “She Becomes Winter,” or “Winter Blues” (as I was just listening to Elton John’s “I Think That’s Why They Call it the Blues.” Then changed it to “Winter’s Beautiful Blues.” Still unsure… “Winter Sings the Blues…” But what about the road? Should there be some reference to the road? “Road through the Blues?” “Long Road through the Blues?”

I try to also let the picture tell me which direction to choose, but sometimes I still can’t decide and will ask for ideas when I post the progress on FB. People always suggest wonderful titles, but then I have to decide which one really fits the scene and how it resonates with me.

I’m always amazed at the struggles. Each painting has its quirks and challenges. I played around with nuances in snowbanks and hills. I added ridge details to the mountains and did more with tree lines. I added a different shade of blue to some of the trees.

The hardest part was the foreground and the snowbanks along the road. This was my first time doing these kinds of snowbanks... a real experiment figuring out how to get that to look real. I reshaped the road a bit, too.

I also debated how to blur the mountains and background trees to help create distance. I chose not to put in the building that was in the original photo.

 But there comes a time when I have to stop picking at it and call it done. Heck, every time I look, I can see something to “fix.” In the end, I was very pleased with how this came out.

 

 

 

The Invisible Line

There seems to be an invisible line, that when crossed, people succumb to greed and power. Their words become lies as they’re willing to say and do anything to get them more votes, more power and more control over others while they become personally richer.

Initially, they may be the nicest people, but something happens to them when they cross that line of authority. (That line may be different for each person, but it’s there and it happens.) It’s something most people succumb to when they get into a position of authority.

How to describe those who cross the line into the elite cloud, where they’re above “regular” people, the everyday U.S. citizen taxpayer. Those who come into any kind of leadership role seem to totally lose touch with the middle class, the ones who are PAYING for most everything with their taxes.

(Do I have it right? It certainly feels that way to me.)

And I don’t think they really care about the poor, either. They create programs to make it sound like they’re helping, but all they’re doing is stealing from the taxpayers to make it sound like they’re helping the poor … They do some do-gooder work to be able to brag they’re doing something, but the bottom line is, they’re only stuffing their own coffers and making millions of dollars.

In wars, there are always people, businesses and industry making huge profits off the sufferings of the middle and lower classes along with the soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen in the midst of the actual battles. While those of the higher class and elite scramble for more wealth, power, prestige, and personal accolades.

I recently read that King Charles’ coronation cost the British $91 million. It again reminds me of super-rich celebrities and professional sports players. A while back, I stopped watching sports and will never attend another concert. I refuse to support these people making millions of dollars off the public. I’ve often wondered how many people can’t pay their bills because they spend their paychecks on entertainment. They can’t support their families, yet they continue to support the wealthy.

I know, there’s some different sides to this, but I am on a mission against continuing to support the super-rich while I struggle to survive. I believe this is an issue needing to be addressed.

And what about the members of government who get to vote themselves raises every year when they already make more money than they could ever possibly need. Oh, wait, maybe they need to own a few more mansions, Ferraris, or go on more vacations.

These elite help make the laws for the every day people, but they themselves don’t have to live by the same rules. They have their own healthcare programs (much better than the rest of the people) and they create laws to protect their personal wealth. For them, wealth and power is never enough as they continue to strive for more.

It’s time “We the People” stand up and say, “Stop!”

More on Propaganda

Years ago, I’d seen a PBS program on Rick Steves and Fascism in Europe. Recently, I watched one on “Fascism in Germany.” What I enjoy about Steves’ presentations is what he can accomplish in a half hour show by keeping to simple facts. (Not that life is simple; things easily get convoluted … and do they ever.)

 

Watching programs like this shows how charismatic leaders sucker the populace into believing what they’re selling – a promise of unity and care for “their people.” Some of the most horrific dealings throughout history have had these kinds of leaders. People believe the words and promises of their leaders because those ideals sound so good and right. And aren’t we supposed to believe our leaders? Don’t they (supposedly) know what’s best for us?

 

However, power corrupts. The more powerful these leaders become, the more power and wealth they want. It becomes not about the people or the country, but how these leaders and their closest administrators start believing they are gods, and no one is allowed to say anything against them.

 

There’s an invisible line that gets crossed somewhere along the way. Even those with the best intentions eventually fall under that addiction to power and wealth. They begin to think they have the right to decide for everyone else.

 

Over and over, history has proven this, and people go along with it until it’s too late. Those in power make laws to make it sound like the populace have rights and choices. The truth, however, is that many promised words have taken on new meanings … just words to deceive and get votes and support from the masses. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

 

Hitler, among many others, was a prime example of this. He kept promising the populace over and over how he was going to make Germany great. He was charismatic, energetic, loud, and his actions and hype gathered thousands of followers. He started programs to begin teaching children; indoctrination at a young age, so they’d be on board with his beliefs when they grew up. He told people what they wanted to hear; how he was going to save them. And they believed …

 

But look what happened. How out of control it got as he and his cronies gained more wealth and power. And, as they did so, their power turned more ominous as they quelled any kind of opposition to their goals. Then, in the end, Hitler was totally out of his mind. (Maybe he’d always been that way.)

 

What should this teach people today? After all, Hitler wasn’t the only one. There are and have been many. As Steves said, “Strong charismatic leaders capitalize on fear to lead a society astray. Democracy is fragile – take freedom for granted and lose it.”

 

Don’t get sidetracked by all the bullying and name calling the politicians do to one another. Ask yourself, “What are they hiding and not saying?” Don’t fall for the pretty promises that sound oh, so good. Look to see what these leaders are actually doing or have done. Don’t believe that going to the polls means you really have a choice. (Your choice is only whether to vote or not.)

 

The government itself isn’t rich … especially when you hear how in debt many countries are, including this one. Before jumping on the latest bandwagon good-sounding hype, be thoughtful and think things through using logic and reason. What is actually doable compared to what is being promised? What’s it going to really cost and who is going to have to pay for it? Who is getting rich off whatever new programs are being proposed? (Someone is always getting rich off most everything.) And look at all the programs out there to supposedly help people in need – that money must come from somewhere. Someone is having to pay for it.

 

So, don’t believe everything you’re told. In other words, as someone said, “Do not trust people that promise you very easy answers for complicated problems. It never works.”

 

Decline of civilization as we know it

While sitting in the car waiting for a friend at his doctor’s appointment, I decided to meditate. I was just settling into it, when I had one of those word flow episodes and took out my book and began writing.

How do people learn to stay kind and respectful if leaders, officials, and corporations (including the medical profession) do not treat people with respect? The terms “We the People” and “good customer service” mean nothing nowadays.

How do people stay compassionate when their leaders are bullying one another horribly and showing no respect for anyone?

What’s that teaching kids? To bully those they disagree with and show no respect or compassion? What are they learning? To let machines do their thinking for them? “Press this number,” “click this button” is all they’re learning to do. Listen to some machine giving their only options?

What kind of leaders will they grow up to become when all they’re learning is how to say, “Baaa?” Technology and automation are taking away people’s abilities to question or have a say. It’s either go along with it or don’t have the services.

I know, some parents are still teaching their kids manners. But education now has also become veered away from teaching kids how to live productive lives. It’s now about becoming sheep, be good doobies doing what you’re told. Do not think for yourself. Go along with the masses.

Everyone is being brainwashed all the time. When things are repeated over and over and over, it starts getting ingrained whether it’s right or wrong. Hype, commercials drilled into your head repeatedly, and even celebrities becoming so full of themselves, they’re telling you what you should believe and do.

What are people being taught as huge corporations buy up other businesses getting huger, wealthier, and more controlling? Consumer choices become limited, prices continue to rise astronomically, then supplies are restricted to control and further increase costs for the corporations.

Even local services like fuels, electric, water companies (such as Poland Springs and Vermont Pure) and TV/phone and such are out of control. Oh, they may offer all kinds of special programs – but, for instance, why do I have to pay and exorbitant cost for 120 TV channels when I only watch half a dozen? It’s all manipulation … and the corporations get richer. And the wealthy don’t have to worry about any of this.

Goodness, the song “In the Year 2525,” recorded by Zager and Evans in 1969 is coming true today. Check the lyrics. I doubt we’re going to make it to 2525.

Propaganda: How We’ve Been and are Being Manipulated

Propaganda definitions include:

“… information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.”

“… the spreading of ideas, information, or rumor for the purpose of helping or injuring an institution, a cause, or a person.”

“… ideas, facts, or allegations spread deliberately to further one's cause or to damage an opposing cause.”

Wikipedia says: “A wide range of materials and media are used for conveying propaganda messages, which changed as new technologies were invented, including paintings, cartoons, posters, pamphlets, films, radio shows, TV shows, and websites. More recently, the digital age has given rise to new ways of disseminating propaganda, for example, bots and algorithms are currently being used to create computational propaganda and fake or biased news and spread it on social media.”

Basically, it’s manipulation using words, lies, and pretty promises to get people on your side. Governments and big businesses use propaganda in their speeches and advertising all the time. And it’s gone on for centuries.

I first heard about propaganda when it was referred to Hitler and the Nazis. At the time, I didn’t realize that every government for centuries have used it. After all, it’s how they got the masses to believe in them and support them.

 Lies are used to get people on board with what officials want. “Tell people what they want to hear” and they’ll follow you anywhere. Promise them free stuff and they’ll follow you faster.

 So, it’s important to think about what you’re hearing. Yes, it may sound good, but can they really do/provide what they promise? And there’s that old adage: “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” So, don’t give in to what you want to hear.

Leaders will lie about anything to get your support. And most of them have others writing their speeches for them, so the words coming out of their mouths might not even be what they fully believe. It’s just all about getting your vote, and they’ll say and promise anything to get it.

Key factors to consider are: Do the politicians and officials have to live by the same rules they dictate to you? How many laws are passed to “protect” those in office or position – protection the everyday citizen doesn’t get? And what about politicians getting monies from big businesses to pay for their campaigns? Then they have to dance to the corporations who supported them.

Then there’s the repetition. We learn by repetition. So, if we’re told something over and over and over, when do we start believing it – even if it isn’t true? And hey, if these rich, important people are saying it, it must be true, isn’t it?

It was one thing many years ago before people were educated. People had to believe what they were told. They really didn’t know any better. But now, there’s a lot of information out there. Unfortunately, it’s hard to weed through it all to know what is fact and what is snake-oil selling.

 

What is Real Liberty?

I looked up a couple of definitions:

“Freedom from arbitrary and unreasonable restraint upon an individual. Freedom from restraint refers to more than just physical restraint, but also the freedom to act according to one's own will.

“The freedom to live as you wish or go where you want: For most citizens, liberty means the freedom to practice their religious or political beliefs.”

 “The quality or state of being free:

a: the power to do as one pleases

b: freedom from physical restraint

c: freedom from arbitrary or despotic control

d: the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges

e: the power of choice”

How much of that really fits the everyday U.S. citizen? Do these ideals only pertain to the wealthy and the elite?

I certainly don’t feel much freedom these days. The cost of living is exorbitant. I feel more and more chains and leashes are put on us from laws and government to the way we’re controlled by Big Pharma and huge corporations. (Don’t even get me started on the medical profession. What a joke that is now! It’s no longer about helping people be healthy. It’s often said, “They don’t make money off healthy people.”)

Then, more and more, we’re being forced to shop online and having to jump through all kinds of hoops dealing with that. In physical stores, there are often empty shelves. And all this has opened the doors to more scams, thefts, and illegal activities.

Making phone calls has turned into a total nightmare with the robo-gauntlet of a myriad of pre-recorded questions, the upselling in between, and being put on hold. And they keep saying how important your call is to them. Yeah, like the really care about you. What a joke. Then half the time, the real person who finally answers the phone can’t give you reasonable information. And they call this good customer service.

Good customer service, like other words and phrases bandied about these days, have become meaningless words whose definitions are totally opposite than what they originally intended.

Transparency is another one of those words. Every time I hear that word, I’m wondering what they’re hiding.

As in other civilizations, there is a vast division between the wealthy elite and the poor with the middle-class taxpayers falling closer and closer to the poor side, especially the elderly. The noose tightens.

  

Dealing with Feelings of Guilt

Why do some people feel they should be given things and do nothing in return? I try to put myself in that spot and struggle with it. I’d feel so horribly guilty. Yes, I know, feeling guilty is one of those emotions that bring you down. Have I suffered some aspects of guilt for a good part of my life?

What do I feel guilty about? And how do I turn it around.

1.)  Not appreciating my mother enough while she was alive. (Well, this is only partially true – I think it’s my own guilt why I make that statement.)

Oh, I have lots to say about my Mum, most of it positive. I love her soooo much, even though she’s no longer with me. But, towards the end of her life, I was frustrated. The most horrible is feeling guilty that I didn’t take care of her well enough in the end; that I let her go instead of giving her the care she craved. But I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t give her what she wanted and needed. I know that logically, but deep down will always be the guilt I didn’t do enough.

All my life, she did so much for me. She was always bailing me out when I was stupid about finances and overspent. Yes, she could be very critical and quick to find faults. But one thing I recognize now in her, of which I have a similar streak, is that she often made her own paths. I hadn’t noticed that when I was much younger.

Our similarities are in walking individual trails. Yes, there are family and friends, but I feel we have been different from most others. Heck, who taught me to be at peace in the woods? Who taught me not to be afraid while out by myself walking old trails? Who showed me it was OK to be solitary (though it was never specifically mentioned)?

What happened years later, especially after Margaret, her twin, went to a nursing home, was I felt Mum was trying to live through me. She got very controlling. Even when I was in my 50s, I felt I had to get her permission to do anything or go anywhere. Anything she disapproved of, I’d get the “attitude” and feel her disappointment. That made me pull away.

2.)  Not being a good mother – because I’ve not been the type of mother/grandmother that so many other women are.

But is a lot of my guilt just because I am not like most others? I’ve been trying to describe and figure this out for years.

There has just been something inside me that couldn’t be this other kind of person – the kind of person others seemed to have expected of me. Or even as I expected of myself from witnessing how others were. But I just never could not be that way.

3.)  Not being able to stay involved in groups or even wanting many of the things other people want. Something in me always took me more along solitary paths. It wasn’t that I didn’t try. I’d get bored or frustrated or other aspects of life took me in other directions.

4.)  Not feeling I give as good as I receive. And where money is concerned, I’ve always had issues …

Yet, there’s something within that makes me want to give as I receive. Even in that desire, though, I struggle. As long as I have money to pay for things, there’s the exchange. But what happens when there is no money? Or if I feel what I’m being charged isn’t worth it. As I get older, it’s something I worry about. Especially as many things I am unable to do, I have to hire someone to do for me.

I continue on to walk my own path, become strong in who I am, and do what I CAN do.