Painting Update and Giving Critique with the Intent of Helping One Another be Better Artists

"Gentle Sunrise at Winter's Ending," 9 x 14 pastel on BFK Rives paper using a variety of pastels and a little charcoal. Still lots to do.

March 29: Worked more on the left side trees, added a touch of yellow in the sun. It’s not quite right yet, but I wanted to give a hint. I’ll make it better towards the end.

I faded the far horizon, then began working down on the left side. I better defined the path/ridge along the left side riverbank, then worked on closer ground, creating rocks and dark spaces.

The challenge is the rocks and dark areas trying to get it all to look natural. There’s no way I can totally copy the photo (which is not what I’m trying to do anyway.) There’s just too much odd detail which I can’t really see clearly. So, I’m just making lots of rocks. I’ll add more color later.

March 30: In doing show ‘n’ tell with Nan, she commented how one of the ice chunks along the front edge looked too pie shaped. Oops, it does. I quickly fixed that.

We discussed how having another set of eyes view our work really helps us. I’m always amazed how something can be staring me in the face, but I’m so busy looking at other aspects, I don’t see it until it’s pointed out to me. Duh. I love that a simple comment can open my eyes to see better. That’s when having a good fellow-artist friend is invaluable and being able to get good critique.  

I’m slowly feeling confident to give kind critique in return. I made comments on her latest work. We both agreed on the importance of giving critique in a tone showing our intention is to help one other be better at what we can do. A wrong tone can sound like fault-finding.

I am always amazed at our friendship and artistic bond. We both mostly do similar-type landscapes, but our styles and techniques are very different. She strives to be a photo realist working in a tight, specific style creating miniatures in acrylic. I work in a bigger format using pastels which, of course, is a much looser medium although I, too, strive for sharp, realistic lines.

It's wonderful to be able to share ideas, comments, and technique without either of us feeling the other has to do what is suggested.

What’s funny, too, is while she and I were discussing these things, I realized what I need to work on next is the water along that left shoreline as that’s below the rocks and layer of ice. And, even though she hadn’t said anything about that, just standing there discussing the painting allowed me to see more.

 

Ignoring the Creative Muses Because I’m Busy Doing Other Things

 

"Angel Pose," pastel painting

I’ve commented from time to time about the seemingly inopportune time the creative muses show up. They always show up on days when I have other work to do. And the trouble is, if I don’t pay attention when they’re here, they may not come back for a while.

Of course, I always thank them and apologize for being too busy to give them attention. I tell them I appreciate their patience with me as I get pulled in other directions and ask their forgiveness.

Then yesterday I thought: If I want to honor the muses for helping inspire my creativity, is it a dishonor if I ignore them when they show up? Is my being too busy doing something else fair to them? After all, if they take the time for me, shouldn’t I stop and take the time for them?

I’m always crabbing about my precious time being interrupted. Wouldn’t it be similar for them? They come to offer me inspiration and guidance and if I don’t take the time to accept it while they’re here, how can I keep expecting them to return? Thankfully, they do.

One thing is, I’m not a one-pony show. I have multiple passions – writing, pastel painting, poetry, photography, and flower gardening, to name a few. Sometimes my mind is so wrapped up with it all it’s hard to decide which to do in the moment… and it’s even harder when the creative fires are roaring, and I have to damper the flames to do household chores and editing for the InterTown Record.

I’m also very intuitive and much of my work is emotional. My heart and soul wraps around whatever project I’m working on at the moment, and yet, there’s often the pull to work on one of the other projects, too.

I start everyday writing morning pages and often, those are interrupted as I think of other things to write about, or I have ideas for different projects. And, if I don’t write things down when I think about them, I forget about it later. (My mind does three times the work of my physical body, ha-ha. By afternoon, I’m exhausted from thinking so much!)

I want to give honor to the muses. I am grateful for their help and inspiration. It’s also a collaboration. Sometimes a thread of an idea will call them in, and words will start flowing, often faster than I can write or type. In the studio, sometimes I pick up a pastel, and my hand starts moving seemingly on its own accord without my brain really thinking about what I’m doing.

In those times, the creative fires are raging. It’s exciting and wonderful, and I feel so good!

Then I come back into myself and start questioning/finding fault with the work I just did. Duh. Yes, sometimes fixing or cleaning up needs to be done, but usually, in the end, the work is good and after a couple minor tweaks, I have to call it done and leave it alone.

PS: Whether the muses are from the Great Spirit, God, Angels, or any other Divine Beings, I don’t know. I never get a distinct feeling of WHO is coming through. I just know I’m getting guidance, and I am grateful. (I always tell myself, “A rose by any other name…” The specific name or being isn’t what’s important. It’s about the message.)

 

 

Three Questions

Three questions Rod MacIver, of Heron Dance and Reflections of a Wild Artist, put forth, ones Thomas Merton, Buddhist Monk, said years ago. I changed their “you” to “I” to make my answers personal.

What am I living for?

6:50 a.m.: First thoughts. I don’t even know how to answer this. I’m afraid, afraid there is no hope, that it’s too late for me. If I delve into this question, I’ll get depressed and feel like a loser. Or I’m afraid searching for answers will stir up failures and grief that I’ve not lived up to my potential.

What do I want to live for?

7 a.m.: I’d love to have my blog followed, have others enjoy my writings about my creative and life wonderings and explorations. Sharing my work, having others enjoy it helps inspire me further. I want to get my books published… but these aren’t exactly what I live for, right?

But then, I don’t know exactly what I do live for. It’s not that I’m living FOR somebody else. Yeah, that comment goes against what most people believe and even sounds arrogant and self-centered. But I have to speak my truths.

There isn’t anyone for me. I’m alone. So, what do I want to live for? Writing. After all, isn’t that one of my mantras? “If I didn’t write, I’d die or go crazy or worse.”

What is keeping me from living fully for what I want to live for?

6:55 a.m.: The day to day living challenges, upkeep to property, accounting, dealing with issues, expenses, loneliness… anything not related to my art, and especially, the dislike and refusal to do self-marketing… Not trusting so-called publishing companies …

And having to do it all alone! There’s no one else to help relieve the burden. It’s all on my shoulders and it can be crushing and there are times when I don’t care if I live any longer… but I’m not ready to die yet. It is discouraging, though, and the worry and the “chore” (can’t think of the right word) of it all dampens much creativity.

And most everything besides art work feels like a chore these days.

Further Thinking 

I have so many projects and ideas in the works, sometimes it’s hard to decide which to work on. That also means I sometimes can’t make up my mind and end up doing nothing on the list. I know. Just choose one and go with it, but as someone who works on intuition and emotion, it’s hard to get involved if I’m not heart-invested in the moment.  

I need my heart involved or my mind picks up on some issue or what I see as a fault, and spins, sometimes out of control until my ambition falls into the pits of discouragement. Then I don’t get anything done.

I get in those too-much-to-do modes and my brain kind of shuts down. I feel like an idea hoarder. I have all these ideas to write about, pictures to paint, gardening projects, and more. It’s like walking into a hoarder’s house to clean up and there’s so much stuff, I don’t know where to start.

Or I’ll start one project then get distracted with another. Sometimes weeks and months go by before I get back… and there are times I never do. The uncompleted projects pile up. The writings started and never finished fill folders on the computer. The partially written books and even a couple finished manuscripts lie abandoned… even though I’ll think about them.

Maybe that’s why these three questions have come up. I suppose, too, life would be easier if I only had one or two passions. Unfortunately, I enjoy many things. (I don’t like saying “unfortunately” because I do enjoy these projects but when there’s too many, it can get overwhelming.)

Even simple topics can take many different paths. For instance, writing jumps between poetry, articles, book-writing, and journaling. Pastel painting is a drawn out (pun intended) process between the reference photo, thumbnail sketches, initial charcoal drawing layout/composition before the actual pastel work. Then there’s the writing about that!

I gave up doing actual photography, though I still take and post photos. I gave up knitting scarves and jewelry-making. Even gardening in warmer months is getting less as my body refuses to do some of the work necessary.

My life, as much as there is left of it, basically comes down to writing and painting. And that gets less as it takes me much longer to handle life and home issues. It seems something always gets in the way of my art. Things seem to get harder to take care of and resolve.

What does this all mean? Put one foot (or thought) in front of the other and continue to move forward? Buckle down and just do it? (Whatever “it” is in the moment.)

And my mind glazes over with too much thinking and I dissolve… until I get the spark ignited again…

Standing Firm, Strong, and Kind in My Beliefs

 

It seems many people’s tolerance levels are nonexistent these days. Everyone seems to take offense over every little thing. I’m no different. I find my stress levels rise through the roof, while my tolerance sinks lower and intense sadness overcomes me. I spend many days in tears when I get in this overthinking downward spiral. (I’ve always been accused of being too sensitive.)

That said, I still try to be kind, no matter what I truly feel. Notice I say, “try.” Sometimes, I easily “lose it,” especially if I get one of those scamming phone calls. At that point, any kind of tolerance goes out the window and I get downright nasty. (Then feel guilty… for a minute.) One time when I complained about these calls, someone said, “Well, those people need a job, too.”

What? So, it’s OK to take advantage of others? Does that go in line with some big business beliefs that if people are stupid enough to fall for false advertising and lies, they deserve it? Is it part of capitalism? (And I don’t believe authorities when they say all the scams come out of Russia. Many might, but I don’t think they all do.)

I’ll admit, too, the more I see and hear, the stronger my beliefs become.

For many years, I was a pushover. Whoever I was with who had the stronger personality and attitude, I’d go along with. I was always made to feel I was in the wrong, that my beliefs and opinions didn’t count, and many times I’ve been (and still now sometimes) made to feel others think I’m stupid.

So, I continue to pull back more and go out less. I just don’t want to be around many people anymore. I limit my contacts. Not because I don’t like people. Not because I don’t want anyone to disagree with my beliefs. I do it for my own sanity and safety.

However, I will always offer words of support when I can. My goal is to be as kind as I can.