The Touchy Topic of Suicide

 

The topic of suicide has been coming up quite a bit. There’s the advertising of suicide prevention sites, along with news of the actual acts. One that tore my heartstrings recently was of a young boy who ended his life because of the bullying he was receiving at school.

Suicide is a topic I’ve thought about off and on for my entire life. I was bullied all through my school years. Even in my adulthood there have been time when I’ve been on the brink of deep despair. I’ve walked that sharp knife edge when one small incident could push me over. Somehow, someway, I always found a will to go on.

Of course, I only have the understanding from my personal feelings and beliefs. I’ve talked with others, who, like me, have contemplated ending their life at one time or another but never went through with it. I understand how someone could sink into such despair. I’ve heard the frustration when they feel no one hears them or understands, when they can’t get the help they need, when professionals can’t seem to find what will work for them, and the discouraging expenses in searching for solutions.

Someone once told me people who commit suicide are extremely selfish, that they’re only thinking about themselves and not about those who care about them.

My thoughts go to: How sad is it someone can feel so unhappy, so hopeless, with no way out of the misery? How sad is it they can’t get the support/help they need from those who care for them? How sad no one really listens to them. But how do we really know when someone is falling over the edge?

Who’s the selfish one if you don’t care how miserably unhappy someone is as long as they don’t make YOU uncomfortable? It’s an uncomfortable topic and hard for anyone involved to come to terms with it.

It’s no one’s fault, really. It’s not a black and white subject. Nothing to do with human emotions is black and white. We’re not cookie cutter beings. We may be human, but there’s individuality in all of us.

It’s very hard for people to deal with friends and relatives who are on the brink. How can they tell when someone they care about reaches that edge? What can they say? Are they so busy with their own lives they don’t have time to really listen? It’s uncomfortable dealing with unhappy people no matter how much you might care for them. Too often others’ misery gets brushed under the rug…

It’s not their fault, not anyone’s fault. When someone they care about is suffering, sometimes there isn’t anything anyone else can do. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the person is just having some hard times. How can anyone tell when someone reaches the desperate, no-hope point?

I’ve only personally known one person who actually did it. I worked with her a short while and heard the defeat in her voice when she felt no one listened or understood what she was going through. I didn’t judge, didn’t find fault, didn’t give all the usual platitudes. I listened and offered what empathy I could. She said she felt I was the only one who truly listened and appreciated I didn’t put her down for feeling like she did. (It was years later, after we no longer worked together, I finally heard she ended her life.)

And are drugs the only solution? Why does society/people always trying to put us in boxes? OK, boxes and categories may work for many people but not all. There are always the ones who don’t fit an exact mold.

I’ve also heard people say God said suicide is a sin. I don’t believe that. I believe God loves and forgives those who end their own lives. Those are the people who really need it the most, and I believe God welcomes them home and surrounds them in comfort.