The Division of Humanity

Below is my personal opinion. I’ll admit, growing up in a small town in New Hampshire, I haven’t experienced some of what others have, but I have been treated with prejudice in the past, so I know what it feels like. I read books and watch lots of History Channel, Discovery, and PBS channels. I’ve studied human nature.

I was asked to fill out an income survey recently. There were basically two questions. The bottom half of the form was all about race and ethnicity which also listed various mixed races. I was totally turned off. Not because I think people shouldn’t be proud of who they are or where they came from because we all have a past.

What bothers me is it seems race and ethnicity is being shoved down people’s throats nowadays, and this further divides people. Everyone wants their own specialness (which is often expecting freebies and handouts). I know, in our own ways, we are all special, but, on the whole, we are all people, we are all human beings!

Putting us in certain categories is setting up sides to make one or more sets of people different from the other sides. They’re not even trying to be equal, no matter what they’re spouting. It’s not looking at what’s good for all people, but it’s setting up opportunities for one side to push their agendas onto all others. It further alienates people from one another. (This has been going on for years all.)

One of the sayings touted these past couple of years is, “We are all in this together.” My mind keeps asking, “If we are all in this together, why are groups of people wanting to separate themselves, make one set the ‘enemy’ and others the poor, woe-is-me people?” None of us should be made to feel ashamed of who we are!

Let me be clear, I’m not one side or another side. I look at everyone as human beings and look for the goodness in all. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re black, white, gay, Chinese, Italian… or whatever. It doesn’t matter to me what god or gods you believe in. Are you a good person?

Consider human nature. There are those who always want what others have, and who want to control the masses (by whatever means they deem fit to get their way). History shows us this has gone on since the human race began – no matter what country or what race or tribe of people. Tribes have warred against one another forever, and the “conquered” often turned into slaves – all over the world. And it still happens today.

I don’t believe race and ethnicity should be on any application. If I was running a company and needed help, it wouldn’t matter to me if the potential employee was of color or of a particular religious background. What matters is if the person is a good worker and will get the job done.

I know, it hasn’t always been this way, yet it should. Unfortunately, people are people; some good, some not-so-good. Some people will never change but putting people in categories due to race, religion, gender, ethnicity, etc. escalates the problems causing further dissension.

We can’t change the past. What’s most important is to not hide it but learn from it. Tearing down statues or defacing them isn’t going to solve the problem. Perhaps, instead of erasing history, it’s more important to tell the truth about it … all sides, whether you believe it’s right or wrong … and even if it’s painful.

I’m not saying there hasn’t been a lot of past issues. Life isn’t perfect, nor is it always fair. I believe learning to understand what and why things happened is a huge step towards making changes towards acceptance and tolerance.

Maybe there are no real answers or one true way. Maybe it all comes down to what lies in someone’s heart. What it means to be an honest, decent, respectful, courteous, kind person. Are we asking the impossible?

My answer for myself is to live each day with integrity and whole-heartedness. I’m not perfect, but I try.

Kind Words Can Lift Your Spirits

How often a few simple kind words can lift your spirits.

Nan did this for me yesterday when I was despairing over my latest painting, seeing things I could have done better (or just differently), feeling disappointed to not achieve the exact look I wanted.

I was relating a recent reading on values and color temperature, topics I struggle with. My mind always asks the author, “What do you mean by that?” Unfortunately, with reading material, there’s no immediate answer if he’s not already written it there. But the guilt of not having proper training brings my spirits down.

“Stick to what you intuit, not what others say,” Nan said again… she tells me this occasionally when I fall off the spirited creative horse.

That simple reminder is what I need. The painting is beautiful!

My downfall is when I let my over-thinking brain run rampant and I continually nit-pick and find fault. I worry others will see all the flaws and no one will buy my painting. I start feeling inadequate because I never had proper training and fear other artists will think I’m a fraud.

I know I’m not a fraud! I am an artist! (There are many artists I’ve seen interviewed on “NH Chronicle” or PBS “In the Studio” who say they’re self-taught.) I can’t deny how I work. There’s an unexplainable driving force that seems to take over the moment I stand at the easel. No matter how many how-to or what-to-do-next notes I make, the minute I pick up a pastel, my brain half disengages, and my hand just starts moving.

This doesn’t mean I don’t learn. I pick up tips and pointers, whether in something read or someone offering a suggestion. I think it over, and more often than not, put the advice to good use. It’s exciting.

Double Dipping in the Studio

After the meltdown the other day, I dared to enter the studio today intending to paint. I can’t help it, painting calls me. I thought about working on the new one, but there’s now a fear of goofing it up. However, there was something else also on my mind.

I wonder if artists ever stop trying to make their studios better. The other day, Andy helped put casters on the bottom of the drafting table easel. This way I can angle the heavy table easily to catch certain light. Of course, this meant I had to raise the chair, but it works, and my feet still touch the floor.

I also recently purchased a different clip-on lamp to light up my pastel trays better to help me choose correct color shades. It was the wrong kind of lamp for that purpose but turning it onto the standup easel made a big difference. The light coming from above the painting is much better than the overhead shining down on me and casting shadows from my hands onto the paper depending on how I move.

I turned around and my eyes lit on the (questionable in my mind) painting “Softly Comes the Dawn.” It looks good from a couple feet away, but when I step close... I decided to put suggestions received into play. I did a little, but with all the pastel layers, it’s hard to add any more. I tried to fix the sky where the yellow I’d intended to lightly feather over the blue instead mixed with the blue creating a greenish tinge. Most of the time I’m able to do this as pastels don’t normally blend well together, and usually looks muddy when they do. This green was not so good for sky color. I took the painting outside and sprayed it with Sennelier fixative. Maybe it’ll help when I try to touch up the sky.

I turned back to the standup easel and the newest painting, “Disappearing River.” I’d already been working on values, decided to do more. I also worked on shapes using a yellow-green soft pastel. Something about doing this in the green color helped me see other aspects to determine positioning and layout. Of course, I had to keep reminding myself I can’t be doing any detail yet.

The busy photograph sometimes makes it difficult to see actual detail, but for me, it’s not about replicating the photo but creating an interesting scene. I played around some more with black and a little orange. The shape of the little spit of land jutting out in the distance is giving me trouble. I’m struggling with the shape/perspective/angle. Perhaps this is an are where sitting at the DT easel will help me see this area better.

I feel better about my work today. I can’t help it. There’s something about painting with pastels that feels comforting, even when I’m frustrated. I feel I have to do it, just as I feel I have to write.

The Importance of Kind Words and Understanding

 

I was thinking this morning (when am I not thinking, ha-ha) about the times we need some words of support, a boost to help us out of a funk. This has been one of those weeks where I’ve sorely needed that.

For instance, my emotional state was already in turmoil the other day when I had to make a dentist’s appointment for an issue I’ve been putting off for a couple months while deciding which option to take. I’m a mess when it comes to anything related to the dentist, and with some other upsetting things going on, my mental wellbeing was at rock bottom. When I finally got to a real person after having to listen to automated phone prompts, I crashed.

To hear a real human voice put me over the edge and I just broke down in sobs. I was embarrassed, but she was wonderful, calmed me down, and even told me something about herself which showed me she did understand and that I was not alone. My tears stopped and my mind ceased its spiraling.

Simple, kind, gentle words can be so powerful. They don’t have to be fancy words. You don’t have to be saying anything special. The words don’t have to come from a professional or from someone with status or even highly educated. Just simple, kind words.

There are those who go on and on about God and praying; those who parody what the Christian church has preached for years. If that’s what works for them, I’m happy for them, but that rhetoric doesn’t work for me.

I pray and give thanks every day. I know my prayers are heard, but sometimes I crave human interaction/discussion. Yes, I know I am not alone in dealing with emotional issues, but to have someone say, “I hear you. I’ve been there and this is how I dealt with it,” means the world. To hear them tell a bit of their story, share a moment of their vulnerability, can help me stand tall. If they’ve gotten through stuff, I can, too!

Or, even if they’ve not had a similar issue, just knowing they’ve listened and didn’t brush me off can make a huge difference. We all have struggles, and our problems don’t have to be the same for us to understand one another. What’s the same is we all face challenges in one way or another. We hurt. We suffer heartache. It’s the struggling and trying to get by in life that creates a bond with others… when we can take the time to talk and listen to one another.

I also believe in “God works in mysterious ways.” I know we don’t always hear God speaking directly to us. Most of the time, we don’t get answers immediately, and sometimes, Spirit works through others to get messages to us. Sometimes when we receive an answer, it may not even feel like it comes from God.

For instance, I often call one of my friends, one of my muses. A simple nonjudgmental suggestion from her can light my creative fire. A few kind words can empower me to stand tall and set me off to a bit of inspirational writing. And sometimes, when she is relating an issue she is dealing with (or we just need to rant about a topic), it inspires me to look at some aspects of my life to improve.

This has happened often enough I believe God works through her. I know the words come out of her mouth (or out of her mind as she types an email), but I also believe there is something more at work, something greater than just us. Yes, there are aspects that are our personal stories, but there is more to it, something special.

I’ve been on that end, too. There are times someone has come to me, and words just flow out. I don’t even always remember what I said, but I’ve been told I’ve said what they needed to here… because it’s all said with compassion and care for another human being. I try to surround my words with caring, and I truly believe something greater is helping. We can give simple emotional comfort to each other and trust the higher powers to help.